They say the grass is greener on the other side but if we truly think about it, the grass is greener where you water it. If you don’t tend to your garden, allowing the spirit of God to water it, your relationship garden will decay. Are you watering your relationships daily or are you stuck on a destructive path?  When we don’t look and assess our unhealthy patterns of behavior, we end up destroying important relationships that lead down a road of  criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling. Instead of this, let’s lean into the Holy Spirit who can reverse unhealthy patterns and set us on the path of restoration and redemption.

We need more than good intentions, we need the Spirit of God.

1. The Path of Criticism & Contempt

Healthy relationships are built on a pathway of mutual respect and love. Critique and contempt on the other hand destroy the best of relationships. Criticism stems from a heart of judgment, and seeks to point out a person’s flaws instead of celebrating their wins. Contempt often views others as less than, instead of viewing everyone as worthy of God’s grace.

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger - Proverbs  15:1 NIV

2. The Path of Defensiveness & Stonewalling  

God wants us to see each other as teammates who thrive in environments where we can be vulnerable with each other.  Sometimes, we lean into relationships, time passes, and we tend to allow our defenses to go up as misunderstandings fester to the point of stonewalling. Yet, avoidance only leads to more destruction. What was once meant for two to become one, turns into two opposing teams working against each other. When walls go up, let God bring them down. We were brought into this life to do it together.

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ-  Ephesians  5:21 NIV

Even if you want to move forward if you’re geared in reverse you won’t be able to do so. When it comes to relationships, criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling drive us backwards. Regardless of the path you find yourself on, it’s never too late to make a u-turn and head in the right direction. Having God at the center of our relationships doesn’t exempt us from falling into the temptation of hitting reverse, but it does help us to react quickly when we have. God always reminds us of the path that leads to life. Today’s the day to embrace the grace God gives us to navigate our relationships. Let’s turn around and head in the right direction.