Have you ever had a falling out with a friend? There may have been instant chemistry when you first met, but it ultimately led to a chemical combustion. With each passing day, the list of grievances gets longer and we tend to focus on the damage rather than the healing. For example, you may not be in as close proximity to that person, so you don’t have insight into what they’re thinking and feeling and you’re left to fill in the blank. Or maybe you’re feeling the social pressure to keep up with appearances and act like friends, so you choose to ignore the giant elephant in the room. Or you prioritized other relationships and you lost the intimacy and trust that you once had as your friendship changed from a deep bond to a superficial connection, which begs the question: could this relationship ever be repaired? If you’ve ever experienced this, you understand how separation, external pressure, and additional relationships can jeopardize a marriage or relationships. Thankfully, we serve a God with resurrection power, who brings healing and refreshment to our souls and is a beacon of light in the darkness. When we lean on God, he turns the mountain into a molehill and redemption is possible.

Healthy relationships are made up of two words: repentance and forgiveness.

1. Repentance

Healthy relationships are made up of two healthy people. They require consistent repentance. We are called to own our shortcomings, and apologize not just verbally, but with our actions. Although it is not easy to admit when we are at fault, God’s grace is bigger than our fear of vulnerability and we can be confident in taking the next step to facing reconciliation.

2. Forgiveness

Where repentance brings us closer to God, forgiveness pushes and allows us to look more like Jesus. We have been fully forgiven through the blood and sacrifice of Jesus, giving us the ability and strength to forgive others. Forgiveness is not contingent on whether the person deserves it or not; rather, it is an inner choice. Reflection with God helps release past offenses and allows his peace to come into our hearts. When forgiveness is a proactive choice in our relationships, growth is present and progress flows from that.

We’ve heard the saying  “hurt people, hurt people,” which is a reminder that all of us have sinned and have been sinned against by people we love the most. Relationships require hard work but we don’t need to work through it alone. God has given us the tools we need for reconciliation and it begins with the grace and forgiveness we receive through His Son, Jesus.  God has made peace with us and is calling us to make peace in our home.